


Apart

by CassiCat



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Garak and Julian have a child, M/M, Mirror Universe, that Julian doesn't know about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 03:53:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassiCat/pseuds/CassiCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garak fell hard for the young, pretty-faced doctor from another universe.  But Julian Bashir's heart longed for his own Elim Garak and his old home.  They say if you love something to let it go, and when Garak realized Julian wouldn't be coming back, he took matters into his own hands.  And Julian's DNA gave him just the second chance he needed.</p>
<p>Five years later, he has to face his inquisitive daughter's questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Written for KatiaSwift. :)
> 
> I'm considering writing more with these two at some point, but I'm really not sure when...

Gul Elim Garak was awoken by the door to his bedroom sliding open.  He blinked the sleep from his eyes only to find a brown-skinned girl with familiar Cardassian ridges on her face at his bedside.  Her hazel eyes peeked up at him, a light within the sparkling storm of green and brown that reminded him of her father.  She had his hair as well, dark brown curls that were pulled up into a ponytail in preparation for bed.  But the look on her face told him she was nowhere near ready to go to sleep.

Sighing and shifting under his sheets, he patted the bed beside him invitingly, “Come here, Juliana.”

Juliana crawled into bed beside him, resting her head on his chest and smiling.  He stroked her hair slowly, looking down at her fondly.

“What’s on your mind, Julie?” He asked her in his soft voice, the one he reserved just for her.

“I want to know about my other father.” She replied; her voice quiet and soothing and so much like _his_ that it made Elim’s heart break.

“He was a very good man, Julie.  He was kind and intelligent and selfless – he had to be, he was a doctor.”

“I know.” She answered, then fell silent, her brain taking in the information provided to her, “Did he love me?”

“If he had known about you, I’m certain he would have loved you with all his heart.” Elim assured her, continuing to run his fingers through her soft hair.

“Where is he, Daddy?” She whispered softly, peeking up at him with wide eyes, “Why isn’t he here?”

“Your father… had to go back to his home, which is very far away.  He wasn’t happy here like he could be there.” It felt like someone was ripping out his still-beating heart.  The words hurt as much as the realization had more than five years ago, that he, Elim Garak, just wasn’t enough to keep someone near and dear to him on this station.

Juliana blinked, as if these words somehow took her by surprise, “But didn’t he love you?  Why did you stay when he left?”

Her question twisted the dagger that had been driven through his heart.  Inside, he was crying, mourning his loss.  A part of him wanted to just close his eyes and not answer, but he knew that would only prompt Juliana’s concern and cause her to ask the painful questions again.

“I loved him very, very much, but he couldn’t love me back.”  Elim hardly recognized the sound of his own voice so choked with raw emotion, “He had someone else waiting for him.”  _And no matter how I tried, I couldn’t be that person; no matter how deeply I loved him and how much I longed for him to love me back, I was never good enough for him._

“Oh.” Her hand had reached up and taken his from where it froze on top of her head and she gave his hand a little squeeze.  When he looked at her, her eyes were soft with sympathy a deep understanding beyond her years. 

They sat in silence for a long moment.  Juliana slowly turned and wrapped her arms around her daddy’s neck, and they stayed like that for a while.  It could’ve been an eternity or it could’ve been five seconds, but neither was aware of time.

Her voice broke the quiet, “Is he ever coming back?”

“No.” Elim answered softly, wrapping his arms around the little girl, “No, he isn’t.”

Elim was waiting for her next question, but it never came.  Glancing down at his daughter, he saw a few stray tears silently falling down her cheek.  In response, he held her closer and whispered comforting words in her ear.  On the edge of his conscious mind, he was aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks as well. 

Juliana reached up and wiped his tears away and he let her presence comfort him.  Her tears slowly subsided and she retook her place beside him, leaning against his chest.

Elim broke the silence this time, “You’re named after him, you know.  His name was Julian Bashir.”

A tiny but genuine smile broke out on the five-year-old’s face and she curled up close to her father, exhaustion finally overwhelming her as she dropped off into sleep. 

When Elim was certain she was soundly asleep, he whispered to the empty room, “I miss you, Julian.  _We_ miss you.”

Elim’s eyes closed and just before he slipped into the sweet bliss of sleep, he murmured, “I love you, my dear doctor.  I wanted you to stay.” _I wanted you to stay more than anything._

_And now you’re gone._

 

In another universe entirely, Julian Bashir woke up in bed beside his Cardassian lover and wondered why his heart was crying.


End file.
